And the hits just keep on coming...

This morning started off as a rough day... I woke up sick (Yuck - I hate this time of year when I seem to have a cold once a month!) and it was so hard to roll myself out of bed. But, when Daniel starts calling (I should say yelling) for me, there's no denying that the day must begin. The boys had breakfast, played together and then Daniel went down for his morning nap. Jacob laid in bed next to me and watched a movie and let me take a "Mommy's sick" nap. (Yes, I know - no Mother of the Year award for me today!) Then, it was time to get showered and go for my weekly allergy shot. I had one of my breakdowns in the shower (still trying to be able to think about my Grandmother without having a total meltdown.). I am just holding out hope that one day, I can think about my Grandmother and just have one or two tears roll down my face. For the past year, it's been nothing but ugly crying whenever I think of her. And I do mean U-G-L-Y crying - it's not a pretty sight.

I gathered myself back together and we all piled in the car to go to the doctor's. We didn't make it far before I had to turn around and go back to the house because I was just feeling so bad that the thought of sitting in a waiting room for 30 minutes after my shot was just more than I could stand. So, we came home, had lunch and I attempted to put the boys down for a nap. An hour into my failed attempts, my manager from work (I work part-time at home) calls me. Uh-oh - that's never good news any way you look at it. She usually only calls me when she has extra work for me to do. Well, I only wish that's why she was calling. You see, today the company was doing budget cuts through layoffs and unfortunately I was on their list to be let go. Yeah. (I found out later tonight that they had let go a total of 100 employees and one of them was my former boss, a VP, which explains a lot. I always said that as long as he was working there, I didn't have anything to worry about as far as them cutting my position out. Woops...) After 7 years of working there, they decided to let someone go who can run circles around anyone that is paid full-time with benefits. Doesn't really add up to be a savings in my mind, but whatever.
Of course, this phone call was followed by a panic attack - I've never had one, but I'm pretty sure that's what I experienced. (Unless you think that sitting on the floor of your kitchen and hyperventilating is normal.) All the while, I was praying. Praying (and crying) to God and telling Him I will not waver in my faith, but I don't like what is happening. Having faith doesn't mean I have to enjoy everything that happens in my life. It just means that I will continue to place my hope, trust and life in Him.

I am so conflicted with feelings of joy and relief (I HATED working!!!) and feelings of panic of how we are going to manage without my income. But, I know that God knows what he is doing. It was getting to the point where my job was taking priority over other things in my life and that is not how I want to live my life. I want to have my time with God, take care of my family and house. I was not doing any of this (at least not well...) because of my work commitments.

It is not going to be easy (mostly because I was not in control of this decision), but I know that somehow we will get by. I can't imagine the budget getting any tighter than what it was before, but I know how faithful God has always been and I know that this will only bring us closer to Him.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11"

I thought that this was my verse for 2006, but I am becoming convinced that ya'll can just consider this my life verse. Well, that one and "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds." James 1:2. That's certainly not an easy thing to do and I'm not saying that I always remember to do it, but it does keep me grounded during tough times and lets me know that through this trial, I will somehow find joy. It reminds me that I just have to keep pushing through so that I can look back and find the joy from the other side.

Ok - enough of being down. Now that I have lots of time, I have lots of things to do! =)

As promised - the cutest preschooler ever...

This was his first day at preschool, but it was really just a "meet & greet" with his teacher for about 90 minutes. So...




Here he is going off for his first full day at preschool!

Lots of exciting new beginnings!

Jacob had his first choir practice at church this afternoon and he really enjoyed it. Dylan will tell you that he only liked it because he got to color for some of the time, but I know how much he really enjoys singing. Besides, I have to put him in choir now while it is still cute. I have a feeling I'd have to drag him kicking and screaming if he were fourteen instead of four. Besides, Dylan is just upset because now he will actually have to pay attention (& possibly enjoy it - uh-oh!!!) when the kiddies perform during a church service. Oh, yeah - and put up with me taking pictures at the same time. :)

Besides starting the children's choir (which, by the way, is called the Weejoicers - is that not the cutest thing ever?!?!?), Jacob also starts preschool on Tuesday. He really did not require preschool as a two or three year old since we are involved in two Moms groups at church that allow him to be in a pre-school-type setting. Add that to being in Sunday school, there just was no need to give him more social/play time with kids his age. Plus, if you have met Jacob, you know that the child does not need any more opportunities to socialize. If you think I talk a lot, imagine me... as a four year old.

I know it will be a big change for him being away from me and the house three times a week for four hours each day, but I also know he is going to have a blast. I hate the fact that we have to pay for preschool for him just to adjust to being away from home, but since he will most likely be going to Kindergarten next year, it was now or never. I would think to go from being with Mommy day to spending six and a half hours at school each day would be pretty scary at that age. Besides, if I'm being honest... I am SOOOOOOO looking forward to the break. It will be good for him and me!!!

And, yes - I will be posting the cutest photo ever of a preschooler's first day of school later this week! :)

It's Football Season, Baby!

Last night was the start of the NFL Season and I couldn't be more excited. Ever since I was little, I have always been a huge football fan. Of course, back then, the Redskins were my team. That's one of the first things I remember about spending time at my grandparents house - me and my Grandpa downstairs watching football and him trying to teach me the Redskins fight song. Good grief - I just sang it in my head - I think it's stuck in there forever!!!

Now, I am a Broncos fan. Ok, and I'm also a Peyton Manning fan. I mean, come one... have you seen that man throw a football lately? And don't even get me started on his SNL appearance and his commercials - Hilarious!!!

Maybe the Broncos will actually do something this season. It hasn't been all bad the last few years, but Cutler better prove himself this season. I'm STILL mad that they pulled Plummer. I know Jake wasn't always getting the job done as far as winning, but he was still doing better than a rookie. Oh well - can't go back now. Hopefully letting Cutler play those last few games has helped to prepare him for the season. Only time will tell... Besides, somebody has to start being a long-term star for the team so I can get a new jersey. (Jacob seems to have confiscated my McCaffrey one - oh, well, it actually fits him better than it does me now.)
Hope you guys enjoy the football season and oh, yeah...

Go Broncos!!!!